Admit it, that title is hilarious. (Okay so maybe I could’ve done a little better…)
Hey! It’s Megha and I’m back with a new series called College Diaries as a present to myself on the first day of university! I’ll be giving you glimpses into my lovely college journey … while I attend (part one) from home! The feelings I’m experiencing right now are no way NEAR those I felt before sending the applications, preparing for my final exams in high school (which got cancelled by the way HA) waiting for acceptances, etc.
It’s time to get down to the uncomfortable topic… the pandemic. It was devastating to decide and then accept that the next chapter of my life is stuck to the previous one (Enough with the metaphors Megha! It’s just “I’m stuck at home!”). Honestly, it did take a few weeks (if not a few months) to come to terms with it. It really was hard. I thought of all the sitting, the lengthy video calls for online classes, having to keep myself accountable for everything, having no one to work out with and being lonely in general, among other things haha.
Unfortunately, I cannot control the pandemic. I can control my actions, behavior, awareness, etc. towards it of course but there’s only so much we can do, right? I can’t sit around and throw a tantrum. The best thing is to healthily move on to a new mindset and be productive! One thing that definitely helped is technology. As much as we know to harmful effects of social media, it really served me well this time. I reached out to MANY people from my university and it was daunting, I’m not gonna lie. The thought of them saying “Oh cool!” and ending the conversation, just not putting as much effort as I do or even being left on read (totally didn’t happen to me…) filled my mind. I told myself, “Not everyone’s going to like you and you may not even get along! Don’t worry about it. You have to be comfortable with being alone and accept rejections.” I added other life lessons, too. Some connections worked, some didn’t. Nevertheless, it did WONDERS for my isolated soul. We’re all going through this together and we’ll GET THROUGH it together. Just hang on and be realistic. Be mindful of your own and others mental health and try to make the best of it. That’s it for now ❤
I hope you liked this entry! Feel free to let me know what you guys think and any new ideas you have that you’d like me to write about (whether part of this series or not)! Stay safe 🙂
It’s been around 2 years since my last post. It’s possibly been 2 years since I wrote anything; online or offline. Excuse me for my initial awkwardness as I re-familiarize myself with my younger self and her writing and add in my older self and her writing.
The reason for my sudden return is the birth of new ideas (as it always is for writers and everyone honestly), new-found self-awareness of my real interests and the minute confidence that I built inside myself to be proud of who I am and what I like. As a result, I’m planning on posting only positive and motivational content (I’ll allow the occasional moody Megha to take over if she’s really persistent). A teenager’s mind is complicated and filled with every voice other than our own and so it can feel daunting to feel like there is something you want to do that is stronger than the opinions from those voices. That’s all very vague, yes.
I do not have much to say for this post because it’s what comes after is what I want to show the world and myself. I’ve grown a little bit and I’m glad. Thank you to the old subscribers for staying and the new ones for arriving. Support, criticize and learn meaningfully. Let’s start living!
Hey… sorry guys but I’ll get straight to the point.
This is probably, mostly, unfortunately my last post. I’m not going to continue this blog anymore and it’s not because I don’t like it or something. PLEASE I LOVE WORDPRESS MORE THAN WIFI (almost). But, lately, the reason I haven’t been updating is because I don’t have anything to write and the other being…I have lost interest in writing and maintaining a blog. I will still write in notebooks and such when I suddenly want to write something or feel like I should note something down but I don’t really think I’ll post it publicly anymore. I’ve changed a little thats all. From the beginning of this blog, its been sometime.. I’ve loved the journey till here and I only have you and two other people to thank for that. Thanks for being an awesome support system guys. For a 16 year old girl…I’m going to need all the support I can get. I hope you liked my posts till now and I hope you all continue to blog because you all are freaking talented but maybe this is the end of the road for me. I don’t know if I’ll make a new one later or just.. I don’t know. And I like that I don’t know. I’ll just see where everything takes me and…yeah. Thanks again guys. It means a lot that random people all over the world actually like something about me; which surprises me everyday. I won’t take down my account because all the posts I’ve posted are really precious to me so I want to keep them the way they are so you guys can stop waiting for my posts (as if we wait Megha! you think we have no lives bruh??).
Cool so…signing off then 🙂 Thanks again for everything. Who knows I may randomly come back in a few weeks and be like LOL JK. But in the unlikely event that that will happen, I’ll see you. Stay healthy and be happy ok? The world needs more confident people. Let’s give em some.
Hey I know its been a while since I posted but I’ve actually just not had anything to write. I used to complain about a lot of things when I started this blog but you know..I still do but I feel like I’ve definitely grown up a little. Anyway this post isn’t going to be interesting or anything…as always, just my thoughts-not so interesting lol.
I have 4 months of vacation since I’m shifting from ICSE to IB curriculum and for all the people who want four months of vacation…if you’re not going anywhere out of the country or anything..it’s really no fun. 4 months is a long time although it’s going by pretty fast for me since its already June. I honestly have nothing to say but I thought I would just share how much you can grow and find out more about yourself if you’re just given enough time. I haven’t become a saint or anything haha…its just that I’m not sad and that’s a really good start. Not being happy does not mean being sad. That’s where I’m at. And I’m completely okay with it. In these 4 months, I really didn’t do much. I had millions of things planned but you know what? Right now… I don’t regret not doing those things. I’m glad I decided to just chill and worry about future problems in the future.
Ah I’m sorry I don’t even know where this post is going. My point is just that… I’m doing alright. That’s literally all haha. I’m just proud of where I am and even though in 10th grade, everyone got better results than me…I’m happy with mine. I have the most amazing friends who really care for me and that’s more than enough. I am loving my body the way it is right now and although I want to be a little thinner, I’m in no rush. I cut my hair and I’m loving the new look. I don’t shave my legs and to me..that’s okay. I don’t have a boyfriend and I honestly don’t want one.I keep repeating those things because that’s all that’s important to people my age. I’m not happy but I’m not sad and I’m happy that I’m not sad. That’s about it. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, try to put your well being before others because you matter most in your life. Refuse to be unhappy ok? You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live. Thanks for being with me all this way. I hope you all sincerely like my blog because I don’t do it for the views. Thank you for everything ❤
Hey. The 14th of May may not be an important date for anyone or even me in the future but that day, my number would come out. My label. The number that decides how much my future is worth. As the clock hit 3 pm…the world stopped for a second. I logged in to the website and checked my individual scores. Good, good, pretty good, shit, shit, good,good. Overall alright. My number is 88. 88%. That’s how much I got on my board exams in 10th grade. At first I had calculated wrong and got 84% and I was so devastated because my goal was 85+. I didn’t hope for more than that because I am a realist. I know my level of skills and I will not unnecessarily raise my expectations because I should be “optimistic.”
I got 88% and instantly compared myself to my friends who all got above 90%. Sure that’s okay. Ha I was kidding. I cried until I couldn’t breathe. Then I told myself I’m a failure. Hear me out. I’m gonna get better I promise. I went to school on the 16th..only to find out that the results will be plastered on the wall for the whole world to see. Awesome. I didn’t dare go close. Then somebody came and told me I’m on the topper list. Ha for what? Failing? Yep. I went and saw…I topped Commercial Applications. Don’t get me wrong, I saw my marks for it before and I was happy but I didn’t think I would top. Along with my other classmate who also got the same marks as me, we both were toppers in commercial applications. It was my other dream since 4th grade to be on that stage. To be an achiever. A topper. In anything, I told myself. Any subject. The other one was that I would become part of the Student Council. I’ve done both. Guys…I’m so proud of myself.
Hey! Back at it again!! I just realized I’ve been to many places in India but never made a DESTINATION post about it. I started it with Dubai thinking I’ll go to a lot of international places but who am I kidding? Its cool I like India too ❤ Anyway, we went to Goa in April as a celebration for the completion of my board exams! There was nothing much to do other than go to the beach but obviously sunsets and sunrises means only two things: get a tan! (hahahaha I meant for white people. I’m fifty shades of brown) and pictures! So I took some instagram-worthy pictures but I ain’t looking for likes:
I’m pretty good right? Well either way I praise myself because nobody will so I’m covered don’t worry. Hehe. Anyway we stayed in the resort mostly and the beach was right behind the resort so it was easily to go there every morning and night. Sadly, it was a little humid but come on, it’s the beach..who cares? We ate at an amazing restaurant-bar called Martin’s Corner and the food there was OMG; the cheesecake,the noodles,the fries (yes I had fries but they were out of this world) and even the ambience was amazing. You know why? It was for foreigners obviously. I hate not being white sometimes.
The height of the trip was probably the boat ride but its not like I’ve never been on one but the landscape was really nice!
That’s all we did in a span of 4 days and even though it was hot, sticky and kind of annoying because there were other weird families travelling in the boat…it was really a much needed break from all the stupid stress of completing exams and waiting for the results that everyone in the world will judge you on.. No pressure at all.
Oh My God. I have been to beaches before but man have I never seen an island. This place is to die for. Seriously if I had a choice about where to die, it would be the Maldives. (That’s the only island I’ve been to..I know there are more but sadly, another time)
I can’t even begin with the size of the island we went to. Maldives is a group of islands so we only went to one of them after stopping through Male, the capital of Maldives and also where the airport is. There were so many different kinds of people..it was beautiful. Its one of the moments when you randomly savour human existence 😛 The flight was amazing I went with my uncle and his family and his sons are the cutest ever. We arrived at the airport only to find that we need a boat to get to the resort and that was so exciting. It was a little humid but if its a beach, I couldn’t care less.
I’m one to take a lot of pictures but not of myself, only the good looking Instagram ones even though I don’t have an account. This is one of the pictures I took on the first evening there:
I know right? It’s not real. It can’t be. Anyway the resort was WAAAY too good for me and it was all so clean and beautiful. There were hammocks outside every other house so that was a major plus. Turns out there is a marriage area there too. In the open. Its really pretty both in the morning and at night:
I just want to get married because this is there. Anyway, then we went snorkeling!! It was amazing!! I can’t describe it because I don’t want to and I want you to check it out for yourself!! Honestly, it was one of the most happiest moments in my life. I’m kinda scared of the ocean because of how deep it can be but snorkeling was at the surface which was great. The fishes and sharks were unbelievably colourful. I think I saw at least 10 different types of fish ❤ Of course then theres swimming and lazing and enjoying so that’s exactly what we did. We went around the resort garden and pool and it was serene. Oh and just a minor detail… I WENT PARASAILING!! That was one of the things on my bucket list so…CHECK! That was when I realized I was scared of the ocean because if I fell from that height…Brr.. Check it out:
Okay I’m gonna try and end there otherwise I’ll keep going on about how clean and strikingly beautiful Maldives was. Please if you have time..really take a vacation there. It is worth every penny 🙂
Everybody has problems. Being blind is a problem. Not being blind is also a problem. Basically, what I’m trying to say is.. okay this is kind of hard to put in words but so many people say that they have family issues, have some disease or someone in their life has passed away, etc. For me, none of these has happened. For more clarity, I’ll use an example of the Prime Minister of India, Narendra Modi. Did you know he was a tea seller before he became the PM? Most of the successful people today were poor before or really rich so they decided to do something with it. For me, I am neither poor nor rich. I have enough and a little more; both needs and wants are satisfied and that is the problem. Since I already have enough, why would I go for something bigger or riskier or better? I’m a middle class Indian and I’ll probably die one, too. That’s exactly what I don’t want.
Why is it that people who are poor, have family issues, were in depression, are differently abled,etc. are the ones who become famous? Middle class people have dreams too. Who wants to be average all the time? My point is, I want people to understand that they don’t need major issues or grave problems to help them or make them a better person or become famous. If you have an idea and you think it can help others or change the world a little bit for the better then go for it!! I sit at home everyday saying that I wish I had a disability so I would finally find a reason to be famous.
Please don’t think I’m shaming people with different abilities or poor people or even us middle class people. I’m just trying to say that “normal” people (for lack of better term) have problems equal to those kinds of people. Since we have what we need, we are expected to use them fully and excel at everything we can because we are so “equipped.” We as “normal” people have to be able to do what any other “normal” person can because by physical ability, we are the same. That’s not wrong but honestly, just treat everyone like a human being. In conclusion, I just don’t want people to think that they need problems in their life to succeed. Just do what you love and don’t compare yourself to others. Normal is also hard so don’t look down on anybody. We all struggle.