Just a small poem..

I’m not such a great poet but I wrote this in 2 minutes right now and I really like it and would love to share it so here it is.

When I was small
didn’t care at all
What people said
Or what they had meant

When I was young
I played for fun
People said I was a mess
But I cudnt care less

Once in school
They said some words
And I started thinking
Have I become worse?
I shook the thought
Because I didn’t care
But in the back of head
The thought wasn’t dead

In middle school
Things started to change
I was a fool
Got trapped in the cage
Of people’s comments
And their remarks
Made me feel insecure
About my awesome trademark
I would stay up late
Thinking what should I do
For them to like me
Shud I turn into them too?
Those were the worst years of my life
Picking all the wrong fights
When I could’ve been happy
With all the friends by my side
Instead if being myself
I fought to be someone else
But ended up crying
At home on my bed

Then high school came around
There was nothing to be found
As I had gathered myself
Into one piece,safe and sound
I helped others realise
That being them isn’t all there is
And now look where I am
Best friends and good grades?
Man I surely have changed.
I opened passions I didn’t know
Decided to go with the flow
Always thinking that right now
Its the beginning not the end.

hope you liked it!! 

                                                     Forever and Always

Advertisements

Being an Indian girl is tough bro.

Oh it’s not tough. No way. It’s hell. I am an Indian. I am a girl. There that’s it..end of life. It’s just that there a lot of restrictions when it comes to being an Indian. Well for starters.. I am tall, have brown coloured skin, not into computers and engineering and not the fittest one around. So where do I begin? Being tall is..amazing shit. Amazing but shit. I love being tall and making jokes about my height but when it comes to the entire world making jokes about me..I admit it is hard to keep myself from dying. I’m the kind of person who has learnt to take criticism but..it is a lot. When someone can’t reach something, they call me to get it. I have lots of.. unique.. nick names (Eiffel tower, Burj Khalifa, giraffe, and others). They aren’t bad..just..not that nice either. I am truly grateful for who I am though..at least that counts 😉

But being tall comes with other things like..not wearing shorts or skirts or dresses and being Indian comes with all this and not being able to wear crop tops or sleeveless shirts, talking to boys, going to parties, sleepovers, not being outside alone, don’t drink, don’t draw attention an many more.. The worst is probably me not being able to wear heels..and I am the ultimate shoe fanatic..well fashion to be more elaborate. Fashion is my life but I’m restricted to half the shit available..what am I supposed to? Wear my brother’s shirts and shorts for the rest of my life? I will never have an identity of my own..do you know how awkward it feels to wear anything without leggings? But that’s how I’ve been brought up so I don’t know how else I have to be..

Don’t even get me started with my “future.” How come you (as in my family) get to decide what I’m going to become or what I need to choose later in life..on one hand they tell me to go live my life because it’ll go by too fast and on the other hand they tell me that I can do anything as long as its engineering or being a doctor..how fair is that? I can’t even go to the supermarket without my brother..how the hell do you expect me to live in the outside world? My parents and grandparents keeping telling me to learn how to use the bus to go somewhere..but tell me *family*..if I am not allowed to step out of my own apartment then how will I ever gather the courage to use the bus? Please..

And hey you know what? I don’t want to get married..but the prime existence of a female Indian is to get married and your family will not let you hear the end of it until you do. I can’t live like this..there is no choice of our own..whatever your parents say you absolutely have to do. I want to travel and be happy..not have kids and cook everyday. Speaking of cooking..not all girls or women are gifted with the art of cooking. I barely know anything but just because I’m Indian I need to start learning things..no one even knows that I like to write.. Sometimes even you family doesn’t know anything about you..it’s just you against the world.

                                                         ΣForever and Always

 

Too many expectations…

You know in those teenage related movies there is never anything new? Its all the same story for everything. There is some adventure between people who barely know each other (who end up falling in love) or a guy/girl who has like this girl/guy for so long (who also end up falling in love) and they don’t know if they will ever be together? Ya it’s horrible.Well not the movies but my life.

But what I wanted to say was.. I am never going to experience what those high school kids do in those movies. You know what I’m talking about right? Those boys and girls in high school get drunk, go to parties, go on long drives with their boyfriend or girlfriend without their parents knowing and stuff like that. By watching those kind of movies, people (well more like pre-teens) come up with so many random expectations and no you can’t blame for watching those kind of movies because they are really exciting to watch… why are they exciting? Only because I can’t do all that when I grow up… I can’t run away without my parents knowing… I can’t go to prom.. India doesn’t even know what prom is anyway. I don’t know what to do.

What if I want a break? I want to travel to so many places.. and the only thing that’s stopping me is… everything. I know everyone says chase after your dreams. But if your dream is to run away and go to the Caribbean island or become a DJ or just.. unwind and take things slow, it won’t work. Not now at least. And by now I mean when you are still in school.. because I am. I dream so much but what can I do? I can’t chase after them… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. I don’t even know what my dream is right now.. You know when you are a little child you always have so much to think about like..how will I be when I grow up? I wanna be rich, pretty, famous, etc. and once you reach a certain age..you realise how fast you grew up and lost all that energy..and then at my age or at least for me.. I’m not even doing anything. Like nothing at all. Your parents choose your future, you decide to go with it and then life goes on. I know there is more to life than this but it’s just that I also know that I won’t be able to reach it.. But trying is half the goal right? Hmm…movies and the high expectations..how funny how much you discover about yourself at the worst of times..

(Hopefully) Forever and Always ∞

 

Betrayal is the worst.

 

That guy..one second he’s my best friend..the next I know so many things about him that he “forgot” to mention. To come clean and tell you what I’m talking about..I used to like this guy..last year when I was in 7th grade. Well the main reason I liked him was because of his taste in music..we both loved music and had the same type of music taste and that’s also how we met. I told him after sometime that I liked him and he returned the feeling..however long that lasted.. Well then one day I found out that he already had a girlfriend and the disappointment in the situation was that he was supposed to trust me and tell me that he already had one but I had to find out through a friend..it was ugly. I was going to cry but it was a celebration of sports in our school so the entire student body was there so I couldn’t. I had tears and he came to talk to me even though 2 of my friends were with me..and he said,”Megha, I was going to tell you but she (referring to my friend who told me this) messed it all up.” I couldn’t stand it! That line made me want to scream..so I told him,”You know what? Don’t talk to me right now and don’t you dare act like you were going to tell me..I know you weren’t, you liar! Just don’t let me see your face for a long time.” And then I cried. I was so disappointed with him not because he had a girlfriend but because he didn’t tell me.

And then after about a few months we started talking again as friends and I was better but still thinking about that day. I forgave him and we just continued like we just met..it was nice..having a friend like that. Oh no but it can’t end there right? He is an asshole so he has to do more bad things. So earlier this month, I was at my friend’s house for a sleepover and a few others were there too. I started talking to one of classmates and then we came to the topic of the boy who I just wrote about. She guessed that I liked him and I didn’t mind so I agreed. That’s when I found out..he’s a player. Well of sorts. I found out that he talks to all the girls in my class and says the same “sweet” things he does to me. Once he asked me why we talk more through social media rather than school..and guess what? He’s asked all my friends that too. So to me, right now, it sounds like he is hitting on every girl in my class and that is disturbing. After all we have been through..and trust me it was a lot..this is what I have found out from someone else..why would he do this? I can’t even talk to him the same way..actually I don’t even talk to him anymore. I have my vacation so it’s easier not seeing him so I don’t punch him. I don’t care about what we had anymore but the fact that he is treating my friends is unacceptable..I thought he and I were meant to be but then again it’s never like that, is it?

Forever..and not always :/

Music runs in my veins.

Music isn’t just sound and lyrics…it’s soul..it’s everything someone could ask for. Music is a way of life. If I don’t listen to at least one song a day, I wouldn’t be able to function and I’m not joking. People prefer nineties music to pop music and some people prefer skrillex over avicii and other people may not like either they might just love EDM. But whatever it is, it’s still music and you have to admit music has saved you once or twice. Maybe not physically but mentally for me it’s worked so many times I couldn’t count. I even made a friend through music…not just any friend one of my best friends to this day is my best friend because we met over a song. A casual conversation led to a beautiful friendship. Today we share songs with each other no matter what. One day I was really stressed and I felt like I couldn’t live this way anymore but so very fortunately I was listening to a magical song and instantly felt better. And this is not just because I’m writing this article. Do you know that feeling when you find an amazing song or a perfect song that describes your feeling so well…it’s indescribable? Yes that feeling is very common and trust me it’s the best feeling in the world.

Music is my life and there are so many ways music actually keeps us healthy. What kind of sorcery? Many studies say that people who listen to music are more likely to stay far away from depression or anxiety or any negative feelings. No matter what kind of music, it is said to have some sort of effect on the emotional area of our brains and affects it in such a way that it makes us happy. Music soothes the mind and calms us down and it truly lets us express our feelings.music makes me cry music makes my smile music makes me so extremely grateful that something so beautiful was created in this world. Words cannot express how much I would suffer without a good song.Even music without lyrics can say so much to a person.and don’t worry if you’re that person who listens to one song countless times until you get sick of it because it means your so in love with that song you don’t care about anything else.music could also be instruments or just singing to yourself…any form of music is healthy,helpful and just plain awesome don’t you think?

Music is pure emotion through lyrics,beats and sound. But only some people can see the true magic behind every word and part of the song.music is the home for your pain and your gain so explain that it isn’t just good it is great.People cry over songs because it’s so beautiful but you can’t have any other emotion for it so you just let it all out with tears…not of sadness but of joy. So just think…don’t u agree that music was surely the best discovery in the world? Well as far as I am concerned, music is my paradise. How about you?

                                                 Forever and Always ♥