Back in the day..

Here is a poem/rap that I wanted to share with you guys. I’ve mentioned this person in my blog before but the thing is..that person is now a friend and my best friend is now..i don’t even know. I really like the way I wrote this..so I hope you all enjoy it!! Thank you so much guys. Sorry for not posting so much..school life is so hectic..I’ll try harder to keep it going. I really want to 🙂

Back in the day we were besties
But one day suddenly you left me
Whatever happened to those days when we said
“We would be together forever” now it’s just a maybe
We’ve been through so much;the both of us
Now I don’t know how it was before
We’ve been through so much stuff. I know
But now we’re strangers;nothing more.

I see you around here and there
But I wanna go with you everywhere
We like the same things
We dream the same dreams
And we agreed that music is our destiny
But even after all those moments we shared
You still never ended up trusting me
And I found out about all the shit you’re in
So I now I regret giving you anything

ℵ Forever and Always ℵ

 

If we could control time..

When you’re a child, a lot of people or more a lot of other children ask you what kind of superpower you would want. As a girl who likes being a boy more, I would’ve said hulk strength or lazer eyes. But inside of me I always always knew I wanted to control time..yikes that would be dangerous maybe and extremely awesome at the same time. Mind reading and flight are closely behind time control. I would really love to fly.. damn.. My point was..by controlling my time, I could go back and see my old self, tell her that boys are not the answer to your problems haha..but seriously. Like sending messages to my younger self. I would never go to the future otherwise..act silly I just don’t want to know where I end up..good or bad.

I can’t really explain I think it but..I want to just be able to see the younger me and spend time with her..she may not understand what I tell her but it’s alright..on one hand I don’t want to change my life because I always believe everything..well most things happen for a reason..but on the other hand..doesn’t everyone have something to change? I know it won’t happen but..let a girl dream no? I could study more..get better grades..stop worrying and crying for so many shitty things..ugh 😦 I guess somethings are meant to be in your imagination..I guess that’s what kept me alive..

∏ Forever and Always ∏

Is it really worth it?

The next time someone says something mean, your parents don’t let you take your favourite subject or you get a bad name with your “friends” in class…just think about what you’re going to do..think about it real hard..and then ask yourself..”Is it worth it?” and when you say that..never think that the answer is always no. In some situations when people spread rumours about you (oh my gosh..been there too many times) or someone is talking cheap shit about you…it’s not worth bad mouthing them back although trust me honey…I’ve wanted to punch someone that many times till their head bleeds but..I realised..it’s not worth it. They are NOT worth it.

I don’t want to go into this topic because suicide and self harm,etc. is very dumb (yes utterly useless) and illogical but I’m serious..if you think it is worth it..go ahead..I’m by your side all the way. Even if you want to punch that bully that keeps hating on you..I would say,”What are you waiting for? Punch him!” but I want you to go ahead and see if it’s worth it..and then continue. Whatever it is you want to achieve..and no..not dreams and such but smaller tasks..remind your brain to ask yourself..is it really worth it? Thats how I got through all the shitty rumours that were put up against me. That’s what kept me back from beating someone up and getting detention. By the way, if you are punching someone to save another victim..don’t even think about it..it is worth it. Also..that’s what got me through broken hearts and forgotten friendships..is it really worth your time? Are THEY really worth what you are doing for them? I have had yes’s and no’s before and that’s completely alright. I sat up one time making a card for my good friend and..my dad caught me and slapped me and such..no big deal but that same morning (since I stayed up till like 2:00) I was thinking..”Was he worth it? Was staying up for him worth it?” and that afternoon..I gave him the card and guys..he almost cried..I could see the tears..he didn’t stop thanking me and I came up with an answer..”He was worth it.” I still question myself about that but..I’ve seen his reaction and..it was worth it..

And there always those times when you always text them first, call them first, think about them all the time but..kid..are they worth that much of your time and space? If they are..I’m really happy but I’ve had more ‘no’ than ‘yes’ so just watch out. So many forgotten friendships…but also..old ones came along and I decided..THEY are worth it..not the ones that told me that they would stay with me forever but the ones who went away for sometime..but always came back to me. So thank you everyone I don’t know to who exactly but I’m very grateful for everything that’s happened and happening and I wouldn’t be the person I am today..trust me I know it sounds stupid and cliche but I would be completely different if even one thing didn’t happen..so to more good than bad because the bad is just good but you’ll realise soon enough.

i love you all..thanks again ❤

⊆ Forever and Always ⊇

It is that simple.

Look..life is simple. Why is it that we make it so complicated? For instance, you best friend talks to others more than they talk to you. And when they ask you if something’s wrong..you say,”No. No. It’s..hard to explain.” Guys..it’s not!!  It’s alright to tell them that you would appreciate if they were with you a little more. Whatever you want to tell someone..go ahead. I know I know a lot of circumstances are difficult. But never telling them just keeps the hatred, disgust,sadness, jealousy inside you. You have to just..deal with it. But always remember there is a fine line between expression of thought and being down right mean. So just think about it and then go ahead. Whether you like that person, you think they are being rude, they have too much attitude..don’t be like them and gossip about it with others…go ahead and just tell them that they need to fix it.

Wheter they do it or not is entirely their fault. And I promise you that soon enough the change will happen. Never try to control what isn’t in your reach. If you like him, you can’t force him to like you..it’s alright. It happens..if it’s true love or whatever then why should you force someone? It’s not right. Simplicity is the key to life guys I’m serious here. Keep your speeches simple, your travel simple, drama should definitely be simple..hehe and of course yourself and your thoughts. Don’t think too much. If it doesn’t feel right..don’t do it. If you think..damn this is what I was meant to do..don’t think twice. That’s it guys..I know this isn’t really THAT related but just wanted to get this out there.

Simplicity

Δ Forever and Always Δ

 

Don’t judge guys.

Trust me when I say “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I would always say that because a lot of people have judged me and I agree it’s normal it’s alright. Being human is shitty sometimes but I hate to admit to myself that I have committed this sin of judging someone. I’m in 9th grade and yes I absolutely hate it. I hate the studies and pressure a lot but..I really abhore my class and how mixed up my class is. Especially this one girl, I promised I would never ever become friend with someone who was so skinny, had a boyfriend, nice hair, part of the “cool” kids and always wears those girly clothes. I mean she sounds horrible doesn’t she?

And then I don’t know how it happened but one second I’m forced to ask her an answer to a math equation and the next second we are telling each other’s jokes and becoming the life of the classroom. I don’t know from where it came but she is now one of my only friends in that classroom. She has a lot of other people and yes she would still chouse them over me any day but it felt good to think that someone whom I thought was a real mean girl ended up just hating on mean girls herself. God I’m sorry for doing that to her. I hate to judge people. There were two other girls in class whom I already knew and they were supposed to be the ones who would be by my side the whole year but guess what? The person who I least expected to be friends with..became my friend. And those kind of small feelings..are the ones I will truly enjoy. It does bug me that she is also part of two groups (the cool one and…me) but just knowing that she cares more than those other two girls..is more than enough.

Guys I don’t even know why we think like this. They may be greatly horrible but end up being amazing which is good but also watch out for the people who you thought were amazing but ended up being total d-bags. I know this one boy in my class and I thought he was nice before I met him because about guys..I always think that but then he ended up being very loud, attention seeking and moderately rude. Well..yikes but I won’t think about that..he’s probably nice to all of his other friends which is good for them. Anyway..that’s it I guess…just remember guys.. don’t judge anyway thing before you know it (unless it’s math because…I’m done seriously I cannot.)

∏ Forever and Always ∏

 

I love everything. :)

Okay okay I know I hate one thing at first then I’m like hey! I really like life and stuff..yes, I am dumb and moody most of the time but whatever..that’s just me hehe. Anyway I just realised..the more you focus about what you have..the more you grow to love it. And I don’t mean you are so equipped and have an education and stuff..that’s all good but these past few days..it suddenly came to me that I have amazing friends..they aren’t in my class but they are still there in school and I get to see them all the time.. They laugh with me for everything and they are genuinely my friends..

I don’t enjoy school in ninth grade but what to do? It’s not magic..that I could just change my classmates or my teachers..I’ll have to deal with it. But despite that..my friends are really coming to my attention and I suddenly thought,”Omg! You guys are the best..we are inseparable!!” They wait for me in snack break, lunch break and we even go to our buses with each other..how sweet is that? And I don’t even need anything else..my YouTube channel may not be the most viewed or anything but at least people like my videos..some have told me to keep going and keep making more..one of my friend’s friend wants my freaking autograph..I can’t believe everything that’s happening.

WordPress is another world that belong entirely to me..I’m so happy I get to blog..I’m so happy people like my posts and how I’m relatable..and suddenly all those “cool” kids in my class..actually don’t even matter to me..I’m just always looking forward to my friends who give a shit about me and are waiting for me outside..God it’s been a good 2 days..thanks to all of my friends..they don’t even read my blogs because I haven’t announced that I write a blog but..it’s okay. I love them all and to all the people here who follow me and like my posts or comments..you have no idea how happy that makes me feel..you guys are amazing..this is all I have away from my family..and one of my friends..she said I can make her laugh no matter what situation she’s in and that will stick with me forever..I can’t believe it guys..THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE EVERYTHING :’)

“You never know what funny can do.” – Ellen DeGeneres

ψ Forever and Always ψ