Be anyone!…except who you are.

Take it from me. I’m living proof that a person cannot live up to or chase their dreams. Everything I’ve ever done: planned my world tour, wanted a dog, stressed out to the point where I cry or pull on my hair, liked a guy, finally tell my parents I blog..or that I don’t want to go to college yet..ya whatever. Forget all that. Likes thats gonna happen. Showing my friends that I care so much about them and its so hard to think about the day we go separate ways…that won’t happen. Punching that guy who doesn’t know who he’s messing with or when to stop. I can’t do that.. I’ll get in trouble for saving my own self..No matter how much you think it’ll get better..I don’t even know if it can anymore.. Everything has become so bad..it couldn’t get any worse.I’m surprised I’m not dead yet.

There will never be a person who has a mind without fear, a heart with only hope and a will that never dies..its just not possible. I have so many dreams..guess thats all they are; dreams. I look at the sky thinking, “I’m gonna skydive one say..CLOUDS! I’m COMING!!” and then hey! reality decided to catch up pretty quick and the next day I’m so overwhelmed with my studies. There are things that you just can’t talk about anyone..even your best friend..or for some people ‘My mom is my “pal” always’ shit. Best friends? What are those again? Sorry..this isn’t really about anything.. I just wanted to let it out.

Let them do what they want..except this and that and oh of course not that and how could i have forgotten this?? Let them be what they want to be..as long as its a doctor or engineer..thats a lot of options right? OMG parents these days act like they were never teenagers..I’m not angry because I’m a teenager. I’m not rebellious because I’m going through a “phase.” What the hell?? And I’m certainly not crying because I’m weak. Everything I do just blame it on the “phase” of being a teenager..please what the hell has gotten into them? Ugh. Want to be a fashion designer? Nope. Want to travel? Who’s gonna pay? Not me ok? Want to be a psychiatrist or maybe just help people through psychology? Uh think again! Are you serious?? What ‘s wrong with 5 years of medical school right? Oh my gosh I’m wasting so much of my life..

I’m surviving every day without hanging out with my best friend, my close friend halfway across the world, not punching that jerk who just doesn’t know when to stop..and oh did I forget? Studies, marks,marks,marks..Ahhh I’m tearing myself apart!! My future is failing, my parents giving me a hard time now and then, me not having the patience for anything and simply crying for everything..this is rock bottom. I’ve hit it and trust me it feels like it can’t go any worse..but then again I don’t know.. I seriously hope not..

∏Forever and hopefully always..∏

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Blogger Recognition Award!!

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AHHH OMG THANKS TANYA!!! YOU’RE TOO SWEET 🙂 Thanks so much for this. I haven’t been on for soooo long and yes..I’m not going to blame it on school..I suck. Procrastination level off the charts. Ugh and tests start in one week!! SO I’ll try harder to come and check out you lovely people often..but hey! Few days and already becoming famous!! hehe just kidding. Thank you sincerely though. I can’t believe I was the third person you thought of! Do you know how awesome that is?? And um..I want to know how to block someone or not let a specific person read my posts..can I do that? Please help.

Thank you Tanya Sahay for giving me this prestigious awesomeness that is..awards!!

I shall begin..now:

My Mediocre Story: Hey guys..there is nothing to this. I honestly don’t have one. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I have a friend..a best friend who I sent my class speech to. It was last year for me so 8th grade and it was beginning of 2016 i think. Just to give you a picture. Anyway I’m like..”Hey! Do you think my speech is any good?” and the topic was ‘Where there is a will, there is a way.’ Pretty easy. SO i showed it to him and he be too nice like “dayum son! This is good dude you should start writing online (or something like that). I know this blogging site called WordPress. Check it out!!” And I’m like 1. Yay! He likes it. 2. What in the name of Lord Shiva (Hindu reference!! :P) is blogging? I’d heard of it but never really knew what to do in blogging. Then I set up my account one day and I don’t even know when my first post and all was but I was so scared about reviews, security within the site..if my parents found out 😛 and such. But hey..I’m so freaking glad I did it!!! 

ADVICE TO ALREADY AWESOME NEW BLOGGERS!!! :

I want you to do it. Whatever it is you wanna blog..don’t even count to three like your parents always say when you’re angry..just go ahead. Don’t think twice. It’s amazing to write and share all your goals and dreams and awesomeness online..oh gosh i love this! Whatever it is you want to..there will be time for all that later.. I know..its horrible..but hey! I hope I can help you in any way possible. Hang on to those dreams..I don’t know about following them because mine change now and then but hey..dreaming doesn’t hurt right? And blogging is amazing guys! If you’re worried about security..I was too but take that chance…you’ll love it I promise. If you’re worried about people reading it..how do you think I’m here? I ain’t famous. 😥 hehe. But the people here are so beautiful and talented ans so very very supportive. That’s it guys! Just try it out..you’d be surprised.

Also..never be someone else..I know it sounds cliche but honey..it’ll pay off..no one ever gets by being fake. That girl/boy may look better than you but trust me..tomorrow..he/she will be working for you. Never fake it till you make it. Be real and awesome you will feel? Hehe thats all i got. Keep this in mind its very important! Love you 🙂 Stay strong.

I Nominate:

1.https://masterofsomethingyet.com/ You deserve this completely!! Woohoo! Keep it up!! Love the name too!

2.MimiTa Oh my gosh!! I love your writing! Thanks for all your posts!! 🙂

3. Reality Check OMG YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK!! MAH SISTA FROM ANOTHER MISTA!! Can’t wait to meet you someday..hopefully 🙂 Keep up the awesomeness

4.Lefraise2002 For being so sweet and awesome plus i really love your posts!!

5.Tales about Tails My second friend in this beautiful world that is blogging!! Thank you so muchhhh

6.Nam Nguyen You three (Suze, Nam and Tales about Tails) are the whole reason I decided to keep going! Give yourselves a pat and thank you with all my heart!

7.Suze Thank you so much for being there! I love your work!!!

8.Travel Much? I wish. Jk the I wish was my addition. Anyway really random but really awesome!! Keep it going 🙂

9.Zorazebic I love the way you write!! So beautiful so keep being awesome ok?? Yaaaay.

I’m sorry guys that’s literally all the people I even know on WordPress. I’ll add more soon but thanks to all these people for being amazing and good luck! Thanks again to Tanya!! Such a nice girl 😛 Bye guys!

∈Forever and Always∋

I’m not like the other girls.

I’m not skinny. I am not interested in gossip. I don’t have a boyfriend. My hair is not always perfect. I am not into drama or talking behind other girls’ back. I don’t flirt. Frankly I don’t even know what that means. I don’t put in my hand through boys’ hair for fun or purposely. I am known to be “one of the guys.” I am scary to a lot of people. I am not pretty or hot or gorgeous but people think I’m nice. I don’t have bangs or fringes. I don’t like selfies. I don’t use makeup. I don’t have thin legs like everyone else. I certainly don’t fit into a lot of jeans and skirts. I am very tall for my age and so I appear..big. I’m not allowed to wear shorts other than my uniform ones. I don’t like wearing short shorts and long tops. On the other hand, I’m not allowed to wear crop tops. Not all the boys talk to me because they want to. Most of the boys just need help and that’s okay. I’ve had a lot of bad rumours about me. I don’t like pulling my jacket sleeve all the way to my hands.

I eat a lot of food. I hate looking at the calorie count on my favourite foods. I’m not a Barbie girl, I’m a Transformer one. I don’t even want to be a girl..I have hair on my arms and legs and I don’t shave. I don’t like sharing secrets, the colour pink, wearing short outfits. I don’t have a billion people around me. I have a few very awesome friends. I’m not popular. I don’t know how to giggle…and so much more.

I’m not like them. But who asked me to be? 🙂

∈Forever and Always∋