Take it from me. I’m living proof that a person cannot live up to or chase their dreams. Everything I’ve ever done: planned my world tour, wanted a dog, stressed out to the point where I cry or pull on my hair, liked a guy, finally tell my parents I blog..or that I don’t want to go to college yet..ya whatever. Forget all that. Likes thats gonna happen. Showing my friends that I care so much about them and its so hard to think about the day we go separate ways…that won’t happen. Punching that guy who doesn’t know who he’s messing with or when to stop. I can’t do that.. I’ll get in trouble for saving my own self..No matter how much you think it’ll get better..I don’t even know if it can anymore.. Everything has become so bad..it couldn’t get any worse.I’m surprised I’m not dead yet.
There will never be a person who has a mind without fear, a heart with only hope and a will that never dies..its just not possible. I have so many dreams..guess thats all they are; dreams. I look at the sky thinking, “I’m gonna skydive one say..CLOUDS! I’m COMING!!” and then hey! reality decided to catch up pretty quick and the next day I’m so overwhelmed with my studies. There are things that you just can’t talk about anyone..even your best friend..or for some people ‘My mom is my “pal” always’ shit. Best friends? What are those again? Sorry..this isn’t really about anything.. I just wanted to let it out.
Let them do what they want..except this and that and oh of course not that and how could i have forgotten this?? Let them be what they want to be..as long as its a doctor or engineer..thats a lot of options right? OMG parents these days act like they were never teenagers..I’m not angry because I’m a teenager. I’m not rebellious because I’m going through a “phase.” What the hell?? And I’m certainly not crying because I’m weak. Everything I do just blame it on the “phase” of being a teenager..please what the hell has gotten into them? Ugh. Want to be a fashion designer? Nope. Want to travel? Who’s gonna pay? Not me ok? Want to be a psychiatrist or maybe just help people through psychology? Uh think again! Are you serious?? What ‘s wrong with 5 years of medical school right? Oh my gosh I’m wasting so much of my life..
I’m surviving every day without hanging out with my best friend, my close friend halfway across the world, not punching that jerk who just doesn’t know when to stop..and oh did I forget? Studies, marks,marks,marks..Ahhh I’m tearing myself apart!! My future is failing, my parents giving me a hard time now and then, me not having the patience for anything and simply crying for everything..this is rock bottom. I’ve hit it and trust me it feels like it can’t go any worse..but then again I don’t know.. I seriously hope not..
∏Forever and hopefully always..∏