Can I ever be good enough?

We got all our exam marks guys..guess what? I didn’t do well…at all…many were not to my expectations and others were just..disappointing. I mean when do I ever do well? When will I ever be good enough? Just once..just once I want the highest in class. I want people to come up to me and ask me all the answers because I would be the one with the correct paper. For once I don’t want to disappoint my parents more than I already am and my brothers marks are even worse than will my parents feel guys? And for once..I just want to be smart. I just want to be happy and run around in class saying I got above 74 (on 80). I’m sorry to everyone I bother and ya I know I’m sorry I just suck at almost everything…

Some assholes’s okaii Megha I got less..bro you are not my competition..I’m trying to beat myself and not you and when they ask for my marks I say will it fetch you more by knowing? Because some people just don’t want you to know their marks so you can judge them and tell the whole class. I want to try harder and I will for sure but it’s not like I didn’t try the past 100 times..if you fall 99 times..get up the 100th easier said than done. Do you know how TOUGH it is to tell my parents my marks? I’m not an honour student and they don’t like anything I do anyway. I always try my best..everyone does..some are just a little luckier sometimes. I’ll work harder and smarter from now onwards but..till am I supposed to feel about my marks? I’m in 9th grade and I don’t like this kind of pressure..what happened to us? The state of kids these days is suicide. That’s what it is. I’m this close to death guys.On top of that..I don’t have much support..from anyone. People will be like no I’m here for you..are you really? Some are there but the ones I care about just don’t feel the same’s always like that with me. Have a few great months together and just leave her to cry over me when I’m gone.

For once in my life..I don’t want to come home crying because I’m not good enough.

Forever and..I don’t even know anymore.



OMG GUYS I WENT TO DUBAI FOR MY OCTOBER VACATION!!! The trip was pretty good although I expected more but ive been wanting to go there for sometime so it was a great time and plus it’s my happy moment before getting my exam papers and ya..disappointing my parents is great right? Ugh. 😞 Anyway I’m not on my iPad so I can’t show you pictures but I will in the next post (only if you would like to see them..) anyway I went to the Dubai mall which was huuuuuge omg it was bigger than my school I swear and I got a snapback which looks so pretty!! I got some gifts for my three friends too and I hope they like it..because they were pretty costly..

I went to Ferrari world in Abu Dhabi which is a theme park but I thought it was a huge ass showroom. Nevertheless it was beyond beautiful. The cars there are soooo I don’t even know what to say..magical,amazing,unbelievably sleek and beautiful. I took loads of pics everywhere. Went on the world’s fastest rollercoaster too!! It’s called formula rosso and it goes at like 240 kmph apparently. They gave us goggles so we won’t get whiplash wow. Need for speed! And the marina walk is so long but so worth it because the lights are so beautiful and really nighttime in Dubai is truly magical. My flight sucked though.. such rude service and they didn’t even give me water. I’m serious. I met my long lost friend the Burj Khalifa which was great because I hadn’t seen him from our birth. (Cause everyone calls me Burj Khalifa).

Along with that,the roads are damn clean and wide too for better transport which is great but they can’t do that in India noooooo. Also there are no potholes or speed breakers because everyone follows the rules and don’t screw with the road construction. As of now I have a lot of work to do and no time so I’m gonna go but I’ll keep trying to post and post the pictures too. Take care guys 😉

∗Forever and Always∗

Say this… meant that though.

I love it when parents say ,”Be interested in something you waste youth” or “Have passion towards something fatass of a kid.” You know when I was your age…and that conversation goes on forever which I don’t wanna go into cause I’ll just smash the keyboard. They say shit like that…and when I wanted to take up art as a subject in school, he said and I quote,”Art is the last thing I will let you choose. There is no future in that dead tired.” How inspiring right? I get to follow my passion..which they want FOR ME but it’s totally my choice.

Then I said im gonna take up psychology in 11th grade and most probably do that for my master’s degree. I am extremely interested and excited for psychology it guess what my dad says? I have a feeling you already know this..”There is no future in psychology Megha and take something useful” and omg I got so pissed so I shouted back “I’m sorry but I don’t really care about what you have to say here and I’m doing psychology no matter what. If you want to kick me out of the be it. I’ll somehow study it anyway.” Computer engineering and doctorates are dying Dad..GROW UP MAN. YOU’RE GENERATION IS DEAD AND NEW IDES HAVE COME. I’m sorry..not really though. Anyway I’m only a deranged teenager right dad? That’s what you always said right dad? So this is one of my dumb decisions that I’m sticking to.

Also during my exam,depending on which exam I always go out for 2 hours and play badminton..and he knows I’m passionate about it guys..he knows. I play so well but 1.They never come to see me play or play with me…but 2.They won’t lemme play..WTF? So what am I doing with MY LIFE? Am I just letting you guys play with it and they’ll 4uin it like everything else they’ve done..did you know that my friends are scared of him? He always ruins my fun and never lets me goes for sleepovers or many parties..why me? I have these friends in my apartment and they are my #SQUAD but guess what? My dad doesn’t like any of them..not even one…he told me to leave them but they’re all I’ve got.. I barely have 2 friends in school now and there’s no way I’m leaving my squad. They are my life. So dad..stop making ALL my decisions.. thanks for all your help and support but I’m not 6 anymore. People tend to grow should know. Why is it so hard for parents to understand that? After all, they keep telling us that they were children once too…

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