Can I ever be good enough?

We got all our exam marks guys..guess what? I didn’t do well…at all…many were not to my expectations and others were just..disappointing. I mean when do I ever do well? When will I ever be good enough? Just once..just once I want the highest in class. I want people to come up to me and ask me all the answers because I would be the one with the correct paper. For once I don’t want to disappoint my parents more than I already am and my brothers marks are even worse than mine..how will my parents feel guys? And for once..I just want to be smart. I just want to be happy and run around in class saying I got above 74 (on 80). I’m sorry to everyone I bother and ya I know I’m sorry I just suck at almost everything…

Some assholes say..it’s okaii Megha I got less..bro you are not my competition..I’m trying to beat myself and not you and when they ask for my marks I say will it fetch you more by knowing? Because some people just don’t want you to know their marks so you can judge them and tell the whole class. I want to try harder and I will for sure but it’s not like I didn’t try the past 100 times..if you fall 99 times..get up the 100th time..is easier said than done. Do you know how TOUGH it is to tell my parents my marks? I’m not an honour student and they don’t like anything I do anyway. I always try my best..everyone does..some are just a little luckier sometimes. I’ll work harder and smarter from now onwards but..till then..how am I supposed to feel about my marks? I’m in 9th grade and I don’t like this kind of pressure..what happened to us? The state of kids these days is suicide. That’s what it is. I’m this close to death guys.On top of that..I don’t have much support..from anyone. People will be like no I’m here for you..are you really? Some are there but the ones I care about just don’t feel the same way..it’s always like that with me. Have a few great months together and just leave her to cry over me when I’m gone.

For once in my life..I don’t want to come home crying because I’m not good enough.

Forever and..I don’t even know anymore.

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4 thoughts on “Can I ever be good enough?

  1. Tanya Sahay says:

    Baby, one thing you need to drill inside your head is that you are GOOD ENOUGH. Life is going to knock you down 1000 times man. But you will have to keep lifting yourself up even if it’s for the 1001 st time. Why? Because you owe this to yourself. And have you ever considered as to why you’re not getting those dance A grades? Maybe you put too much effort or not enough. You will have to talk to yourself. Find out why! Life is not going to serve you on a silver platter it’s going to kick you hard in the stomach. But you will get up again and again each time more bruised than the previous. But with more determination than the last time. And hey, cry if it helps but remember when you get back up go in with all you have got.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. maanini says:

    Hey Megha, I am in your class……And part of the 9E trio (you, Kavya, me), but you never told me that this is how you feel….. And please, you’re amazing at making people laugh…. A+ grade for that. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

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