Work in progress

My life. Everyday I learn something new something about myself. Before I used to always put friends over family because I had friends duh. Even now I put friends over family but I’ve realised how much my family has given me that my friends haven’t. Like it’s not much but still good enough. I’m friendless now that’s why I started noticing what my family has given me over the years. Before I used to crave to be around people and go to parties but now I’d rather die than have a get-together even if it’s my “best” friends. Before I used to think I could do whatever I wanted as long as I had the talent and determination. I still believe it but when you grow up you realise how the world works and it’s disappointing. But you know..I learn something new everyday and that kinda cool. Sometimes it’s not good but sometimes it is. Some things stay the same but somethings I’m willing to change if they’re bad. I’m going step by step you know? In my upbringing and surroundings we always live by the day…not in the moment. They’re not the same thing. We live everyday and pass through everyday and sometimes I feel like that’s really helpful although long term planning is also important.

Life sucks. Well not really but no one tells you how to go about it or be the best version of who you are and such. You just have to go with the flow…and I hate it. When I was younger, I should’ve hung out with the smart kids and kept up my grade but I didn’t. I was with the popular group (not to sound like a chick flick sorry). I regret it but I can’t you know? Because I had so much fun with them. When I was younger,I shouldn’t have liked all those guys but it didn’t work out like that. I regret it but I don’t you know? Because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have learned to control my emotions and get over all that. When I was younger, I should’ve kept playing football even though people kept making fun of me but eventually I got other responsibilities and priorities. I regret that a lot but it ended up opening new interests so I can’t regret it you know?

Sometimes it’s okay to feel like you wanna go back to your old self or younger self because that was a better version of you. But then all the things you have now…you wouldn’t have had them if you continued being the old self. So think of it like that. I’m in 10th grade and my term exams start tomorrow..I regret not studying all this time including right now (sorry WordPress but education is a must too- although this is so much better) but it’s in the past now and you really can’t do anything about it. Just go with the flow. Try not to beat yourself up too much. You too Megha. Stop beating yourself up.

¤Forever and Always¤

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You and Her | Poem

I’m not exactly jealous
But there’s no other word
To describe how I feel
When you’re hanging out with her

I wish I could be her
Not skinny, pretty or nice
The reason I want to be her
Is because she has you by her side

I’ve never seen you laugh before
It was a beautiful sight
I wish I was the one to cause that
The reason for that light

But I’ll never let you know
How I really feel
Because I know my time has passed
And I can’t turn back the wheel

But never misunderstand
The respect I have for you
Because as log as you’re happy
I really don’t care with who∼

≡Forever and Always≡

HEY 🙂 I know it’s been a while so here’s a poem to make up for that. I wrote this when I found out my ex-crush (is that a thing? it sounds so weird and stalker-ish) got a girlfriend now. I promise I’m over everything with him and all although that took A LOT OF TIME AND TEARS and stuff. Anyway I know he’s not reading this but just wanted to say that I hope he’s happy because that always comes first. Happiness 🙂

Technology.

This is my first freelance writing! Like usually I write it first randomly whenever and then when I’m not lazy to type, I post it on wordpress. But my parents have inspired (yeah not really) me to write this without a rough copy! Here goes…

Technology. Ya ya its the best thing that happened to us but it also ruins our lives blah blah. It’s true that it’s ruined our relationships with the people around us. They’ll be two people at a party and they’d be texting each other but they wouldn’t notice that they are actually sitting next to each other. LOL. I laughed the first time someone told me that. Anyway my point was that even on family basis, its ruined us. I’m supporting both sides but like in usual Megha-style…I need to hate on my parents. So like I use the computer almost 24/7. But most of the time when I’m not, my parents won’t wanna spend time with me. Technically, I spend time on the computer SOLELY because my parents usually don’t take interest in the things I do r whatever. They don’t listen to me too much and whenever I am happy and running around the house they think I have some disease or something. When they’re on the computer, I have to assume it’s work and I can’t disturb them. When they’re off the computer, I’ll either be studying, playing or on the computer. Thus we don’t spend time with each other. But the point of this entire post was that the older generation, i.e. parents, blame us that we don’t spend enough time with family and such but its them that that doesn’t spend time with us. More than half of Indian parents (that is middle class parents, working parents, etc.) are software engineers. So they’re required to have and work on a laptop and I completely understand because my mom really works hard at her job. But she’s on the computer all the time, my dad is on the phone all the time and its not me who doesn’t look up from the laptop…its them. I say something, they cant hear. But they say something and I’m supposed to hear otherwise I’m being ignorant. So basically I just feel like they put the blame on us and make us look like the bad guys while they are EQUALLY responsible. So many families have crumbled because the children don’t have anyone to talk to. Then that could go down many roads… It feels like talking to a wall sometimes. They have no right to say that we don’t pay attention when they don’t either.

 ⇒Forever and Always Trying to Catch Up